Tuesday, December 28, 2010

The need to wander

So today, Gypsy decided she need to get out. There has been so much stress between home and work and all kinds of energy that I just can’t handle. This morning, I tried the bus route I had mapped out the other night. When I got to the transit center in Federal Way to catch my connector, my feet started to carry me to the bus to Seattle.

I wanted to jump on that bus and go. I knew I missed the city, but I didn’t realize how much I missed it until that moment. I had time to unwind and collect myself on that commute. I could nap or, what I did mostly, was catch up on gaming. In the evenings, I’d take the light rail and stop by the store or go into the city.
What I miss most though, is street food. Wandering Pike Place and enjoying the smells and the sights. Walking the piers and peeking into the galleries. But the street food… picking up handmade pot stickers in Pike Place, or getting fresh pink pears. Going into the International District and getting hot chestnuts or other yummy tidbits on my wonderings.

I’m a foody at heart and Federal Way, or at least the spots I am forced to visit again and again and again… it’s like slow torture. I crave the tastes of my college days. Though Shadow and I have found a few small hide outs in our wanderings, its Federal Way. And to me, this isn’t home. I’m not sure how to explain it. Wondering there, feeling the energy, walking streets I know well from many a night of getting hopelessly lost when I should have been in class… there is just a magic to Seattle that Federal Way will never have.

I think I need a day to wonder the city again. A day during the week because the energy is better then. It will help feed my soul, help feed my creative spirit. Lately it’s just felt starved. Maybe my brother will hold true to his word and we’ll go wonder or maybe I’ll blow him off and go on my own. I just know it’s time to go. I keep hoping I’ll get a call back from the company that called me last week. It would give me what I crave. Even doing the interview would give me a reason to be in the city again. I told myself I wouldn’t call until after the holidays. I know how it can get in an office when you have 2 straight weeks of 4 days. I’m going to keep my hopes up on this and that this will get me out of where I’m at now.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

technology bites

With Fraya being dead, but her hard drive still functioning, we're now looking into cannibalizing her for her hard drive. i have writing and things on there that where not backup elsewhere. Why? well, i'm not the brightest crayon in the box sometimes. the good news is that out of her epic drawn out death, i will have a removable hard drive to dump things onto for under $10. Or, after i pull what i need from it, i give it to my parents since they are to cheap to buy one themselves. you can not back up years and years of family photos on a computer and expect the old piece of crap to not crash on you at some point.

But the new laptop, after much though, it was decided her name would be Midna. Midna is a character from Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. I adore that little imp. My Midna is black, has glowy bits and ish smexy. it seemed to be a fitting name. Though Shadow questioned why i didn't choose the name Cora, since she also wears black, is smexy and has glowy bits. Midna came first and is far cuter in my book.

my mental state though with this little side of myself has come out in full force. my desktop is decorated very little kidish. my firefox persona is Sanrio's Little Twin Stars. i think i've lost my mind. My sister's desktop is photos from her travels. my brother's is graffiti works he's collected and mine looks like something out of a nursery. i'm awesome sauce!!!

Friday, December 24, 2010

Merry Christmas!!!

So, Gypsy has been busy with new joby and such. I've also been struggling with a depression funk that i usually go into around this time of year. So today, Shadow took me to lunch! When i jumped in the truck, there where a plush Mario and Luigi sitting in my seat for me! He told me he thought i could use some cheering up! *squee!!!!* so they have been sitting with me today at work since then!

he also said they have nothing at all to do with my Christmas presents. so no clues :( I'm worried he might not like what i got for him. this is the first year i really didn't know what to do for people. usually i'm a super organized Christmas elf about these things. Finding the perfect gifts and everything, this year i've been so out of it and stressed over jobs and such that i didn't have the time or focus to put the details in like i normally do.

Thursday, December 9, 2010



no, not doing the art thing all day every day, but working at the front desk of an assistance living home. it's a few blocks from home too, so no more bus commute! normal hours and monday through friday. so very happy! i start monday!

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Caffeine Fueled Creating

Gypsy is out of her funk and back to creating. Pictures will be posted soon of what I’ve been up too. 4 new dolls in the final stages should be up for sale either tomorrow night or Tuesday. I’ve got another project for my mother-in-law I should be doing on Wednesday.

I’m very excited for this next set of girls to be coming out. 2 of them where ones I’ve had in my head since July. Fabric had been pulled for them and set aside, but there wasn’t enough time or energy.

It’s such a toss up between working full time and being able to work on Gypsy. I’ve been blessed with having a wonderful support system in my Shadow and Aunty Em. Without him, I don’t think I would have been able to show everyone just how serious I am about this. The next step from here is making a new portfolio site and getting everything linked back to the shop. I’m so excited tonight!!! Not just from the wine I had earlier either!!!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Rain rain, it's here to stay

I tree fell the other day during a bad storm the night before. The weather is threatening to turn nasty here again. I'm trying to ward off a bought of depression, but it's really really hard this time round. I'd really like to stay in bed today.

I'm trying to motivate myself to go and play with fabric for a bit. Getting messy sounds like a good idea, it just seems like it takes way to much energy right now. Gypsy is struggling to feel useful. Gypsy use to be very useful.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Time Flies

I swear I posted yesterday!

October was a good month. Shadow boo worked really hard to make it a good month for me. November... so far sucks.

October did end with the passing of one of my little budgies. Cuddle Pie Monroe passed away on the 29th. Shadow was with me when she passed and kept trying to convince me she was sleeping. She'd been sick and I knew better. He took care of her and buried her in the backyard for me, but it did make me a bit of a wreck for the evening. No one likes a sad Alice in Wonderland... who was drinking sake for most of the night and hearing everyone's confessions. Worst Halloween party EVER!!! At least I looked cute though.

As of Monday, I’m out of a job again. Due to complications in the government process and someone not being able to follow instructions (not me mind you!) I was told to vacate the premises immediately on Monday. Shadow has been trying hard to keep me occupied and help me recover from the mass amount of stress I have been under the past few weeks. Last weekend ended with me having another tummy episode and I was extremely sick and sleep deprived. After the lose of my job, Shadow ordered me to sleep and rest the next few days. Wednesday and Thursday I spent at his house sleeping and playing games. Being at home though…

It’s hard on me here. At work, I was with a group of people that where very much like myself. All different ages and at different points in there life’s. That’s something I’ve never had. It helped me a lot mentally, to realize who I am and to be more comfortable with it. At home, I don’t have that luxury mostly because my parents don’t understand and aren’t supportive of the way I am. There are a lot of backhanded comments and I can only hear ‘just grow up and be like everyone else’ so many times before I snap mentally. With all the stress recently, it’s made it harder on me to slip into my little kid mode. That makes things harder because I use that to get out many of the things I can’t express otherwise.

With my job being gone, it does leave time for me to work on Gypsy again. I did miss it… working with clay and paints. Watching the dolls come to life over a few days… it is a calming process, something that unfortunately got put on hold while I was working. I know I’m an artist, which will always come first above everything else. It’s just so hard to get a balance back.

Last week, while I was at work I was laptop shopping and was talking with Shadow about needing one. Out of the blue he said he’d help cause he knows that even when I was working, I haven’t been in a position to put away for one. When I asked why, he said it was because he believes in Gypsy. Those words from him meant so much. From there I knew I needed to work on getting myself out there again and on the dolls. So I’m committing to work on Gypsy again, not just for the laptop, but for myself and to prove I’m not just a washed up artist.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Updates to Blonde Gypsy

I finally finished off my aprons and Almost Alice. Though she had bee posted for sale, she was missing something. So now, I am happier with her and had to take updated photos... which then led to new photos for all the girls looking for a home. The first photos where so bad. I know better too... i took photography in high school!!! I should know about lighting! it also prompted me to dig out a very cherished piece of furniture from storage. The chair the dolls sit in is one i've had since i was a little little girl and since i'm far to big for it, it is perfect for my dolls and stuffies. it made me happy to clean it up and drape it with the afghan my grammy had made me some years ago as a graduation gifty.

Other then that, life has been full with lots of pho, time with Shadow, work and walks in the rain. Oh, and video games... damn Shadow... damn damn damn him... He brought over Misha (ps3) on Saturday and started playing a horribly girly game. I mean horribly girly game! Ack! And it has to do with becoming an alchemist and completing quests. Guess who got sucked into it and started a game? Guess who also stayed up until 2am last night playing said game. For something I can't even pronounce, it's like crack for my OCD. Adorably cute crack. Shadow is a bad bad man...

I managed to slice the top off my thumb (again) last night and today while sewing, I burned the heck out of my fingers with hot glue. Did you know hot glue is hot? like... scalding hot? Like, 'what the heck was i thinking when i touched it i do this every time' hot? it's better then super glue. not that i've glued myself to things with it before or anything... >.>

Other then that, i'm happy fall is here. This morning i smelled winter on the wind and it got me excited a bit too. I don't care for winter as much as fall though. i love fall. i'd like to get pumpkins to carve this year, but i don't think i will be. i will be dressing up for halloween though at work! i bought a pattern for an Alice in Wonderland costume. i should be able to throw it together in a weekend, even with the alterations i plan on making for it. i'm excited to dress up and run around the hospital.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Not dead

Been very busy and a tad not so stressed. Job was extended until the end of October and the position is reopening. I’ve been told I have first crack at applying for it. Cross your fingers and cross your toes. I love this job and the freedom they give me with it and I would love to stay. They want me to stay and I want to stay, but because of legal crap, they have to post the job instead of just giving it to me. So, more stress and the waiting game. The person I work with has no respect for me either and that bothers me to no end. Age gap shouldn’t matter, I’ve been there longer and know the job and do it well. I expect the person that is ‘more qualified’ then me to do the same… ugh… will get off that soapbox because it never ends well.

I’ve spent a lot of time with Shadow the past few weeks though and that has made things so much better. Last week (or was it the week before) his parents found me on my corner waiting for the bus. They beckoned me to come with them to dinner. Needless to say I got a bit drunk. Ok, a lot drunk before Shadow had even showed up. Gypsy doesn’t handle booze well… or at all, unless is saki.

Shadow and I also found a new pho place and we’ve already been there several times. It makes me so happy to go and get a big bowl of noodle soup. This place also has a bakery and they make cream puffs! When the owner sees me, he includes a cream puff with my order and regular cake with Shadow’s. Friday night we went in and ordered 6 puffs to take home, when I opened the box I found a dozen. No, I couldn’t bring myself to eat them all. I’d love to have a bowl of there soup right now even though I’ve had it 2 days in a row.

I’ve made more things for the shop, but haven’t gotten around to photography yet… I’m so slow. I’d love to make more dolls too, but I’d also like to sell the ones I have here. I repost 3 this morning. I need to focus on promoting myself again. It’s just hard right now to get the family compy and actually have the damn thing work well. Sell the dolls and I am buying a new laptop which will make running things easier. I can create and edit ads from work and then post when I’m home. * sighs* but it is a dream right now.

I did get my psp finally. I’ve been playing a lot of Kingdom Hearts when I can. 56 hours invested into Terra and that was mostly my commute time and in the evenings before bed. I forgot how much I enjoyed gaming. I’m happy Shadow had put that first payment on it. Yes, I got crap for getting it from the parentals, but I got such a screaming deal on the whole package that how could I not pick it up? I had been paying it off in very small increments for awhile until I had the last of it to pay it off the week before it came out. I have called it my birthday gifty to myself from last year and this year and also my ‘congrats your semi employed gift’. When I’m fully employed, I’m getting some things for the Wii…. Or maybe I will start collecting gift cards for the laptop. That might be a better idea.

The other night, while out with Shadow's mom, we'd been talking. She saw i got upset when money and the job came up. All she said was that it will be okay and i'll get back on my feet again. i believe her when she says it.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Silver Foxes and Stinky Irishmen

Friday after work I wondered around Seattle. I am still a bit numb over the job thing and wasn’t ready to go home. My wondering led me to Border’s, which was out of my book, but had 2 others I had been meaning to pick up. My wondering led me back over to the mall where I was cornered by an Irishman that was trying to get me to donate money for needy children. He was my age and smelled of bum, needless to say I didn’t donate to his cause. The way home was a far longer trek then normal and further beat into my head why I don’t travel around Federal Way on foot and alone when the sun is setting. I was asked repeatedly where the party was by some punk, without looking up from my book, I told him I was to old for those kinds of things and he should ask near the 174 pick up point. He’s eyes where glazed over from the brief glance I had given him.

Yesterday was spent mostly asleep. I’ve been far to stressed to sleep well, but I also managed a good chunk of reading. 100 pages of a cynical old man rambling on about his life’s adventures in the culinary world. It was the highlight of my day.

Today I finally got around to ordering a few Trikkies to play with for a new crafty thing. They should be here about the time I’m out of work again. I’ll also be raiding my fabric stash for pieces big enough to make aprons from to put up in the shop. I’m determined to make it work. I have more dolls to work on as well. Another trip to the fabric store may be in order for supplies. Sculpy is running dangerously low in the tool box.

This week I realized I’m smitten with one of the older techs at work and either he’s good at faking or he has a thing for me too. Maybe we both are just on the same wave length. Something had come up the other day while we where talking. One of those things I just knew without knowing about him and he asked how I knew. I didn’t have the heart to saw I’m an empathy, that seems to get me weird looks, but in that moment, I saw/felt that he already knew. I can’t remember how I told him I knew. I have this want to hug him, but I’m also scared. Shadow told me to go for it and that both scared me and excited me. Chase my silver fox or play cute. I only have this week to decide what I want to do. I’m 26 chasing an almost 50 year old, my mom was a tad freaked when I had said something about him that I called him Cupcake and he blushed when I did. I’m so sad to leave this job, more upset that I have to leave such wonderful people that are like me and give me hope that I’m not just a lone freak. Though I have gotten better about that too. I haven’t been somewhere where pet names where mandatory. I’m Angela, Angie and Limburger Cheese and a pet name Cupcake has given me that has completely slipped my mind. Why does fate hate me so much!?!

It has crossed my mind several times though with Cupcake. I know it would work, but there is the age issue and how people view that. Do I cast those things to the wind? I’ve been single for a year now and though Shadow is my dearest friend still, I still feel like I’m betraying him. Nothing has happened and I’m over worrying. Only 5 days left and I’m sure they will be a mix of sorrow, misery and laughs.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Thoughts on the Gypsy

It’s been way to hot here the past few days. This morning I woke to find I was stuck to the bed. Looking up, or is it down, I noticed that my cat Luna B, was looking at me rather irritated. She was stuck to me, who was stuck on the bed. If I didn’t have to get up for work, I would have stayed there. But, I’m now in the final countdown for this job, so I figured I need all the days I can get.

10 days as of this morning. 10 days and I’m back out of work again and will most likely loose what is left of my mind. Though it will mean more time for my dolls and getting back to my artwork. Since starting this job I haven’t had the time, it has cemented it into my head though that I would love it if I can be a full time artest. I’m going to submit a doll of mine to a doll mag I read now and see what happens. I know if they put her in, she will help put me out there for others to see. It would most likely be my Sally, but I am also toying with Bo. I do love my Bo and have decided she won’t go up for sale after all. I will have to make another like her, but the original will live with me.

I have 6 other dolls I have sketched out since I started this job. 4 of them will go for sale, 2 will stay with me because they are more personal dolls. There is another project I am about to start as well that will go up for sale, but I need to wait until I have some money to order the parts for it. It should be a fairly quick project for me to turn out, but another personal one that I had planned on using for myself but now have no need currently. They should be cute. I would just really really love it if Blonde Gypsy became something more then a past time. Even if I had to work part time so I could craft the rest I would in a heartbeat if it meant I could still be the Blonde Gypsy a bigger chunk of my time. It makes me happy, it gives me life and hope and more importantly, it convinces the parentals I’m using my pricey art degree.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Not a good house wife

I was dead set and determined to clean house and get the yard work half way done. I got up, made breakfast for Shadow and was semi hopeful for the day. During breakfast, I spilled a full can of pop onto my lap. Nothing like waking up to ice cold pop. Wanting to continue eating my breakfast, I took of the pajama pants and chucked them down the stairs knowing I would be doing laundry later that day. I noticed Shadow kept watching me, a bit in disbelief and shock as I continued to eat breakfast.

Me: ‘What I do now?’

Shadow: *sigh* ‘You’re such a dork sometimes…’

After breakfast, Shadow got ready for work and I decided I was going to lay with the cat. I don’t remember when I fell asleep, but I did. I remember Shadow yelling at me before he left for work, but that was it. The next time I looked at the clock it was 9am.

I grabbed, yet another pop and went downstairs to check email… which lead to reading blogs… and then Gaia Online. At 1pm I texted Shadow:

Me: ‘Oh god! I’m a horrible wifey!!!’

Shadow: ‘What did you do!?!’

Me: ‘I am sitting at the computer, eating nachos and still have no pants!’

Shadow: ‘Your such a dork…’

Me: ‘You thought I blew up the vacuum, didn’t you…’

Shadow: ‘That was my first guess. That or your broke something.’

On the band wagon

So i thought maybe it was time I started one of these... though i'm still working on layout. this will mostly be a place for my random adventures both in art and daily life... cause the later is made weird by my over active imagination.