Thursday, June 27, 2013


MRI came back clear. I've been referred to a vascular specialist, but this one specializes in TOS (thoracic outlet syndrome). He can't see me until August. So I've been managing while being a basket case at the same time. Don't ask how that works. Up until Tuesday, shortly before noon, I was ready to beat people. Between the stress of work and then with my arm, I was done. I ran out of the office on my lunch break and, while looking both ways to cross the street, managed to sprain my ankle. It's always comforting with your doctor is mortified by the amount of bruising you have and your ability to laugh at the amount of pain your in.

So I'm in a boot, sleeping with heat for both my shoulder and for my sinuses. At that moment I fell out of my shoes though, after I started to wonder about people flying out of there shoes when hit by a car, I laughed. Not from the pain either, but just because I realized the cosmos was telling me I need to let the things I can't help go. People suck and they will drain your sparkle. Which has been happening a lot lately. I know things will work out in the end. :)

Though the need to draw and cut fabric again is pulling at me and I'm on pain meds currently because of my ankle. I might try to finish a few things this weekend.

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Back from the abyss

I've been in hiding since my last post. I've been in a depression that I've had a hard time shaking. After meeting with the ortho doctor and having an EMG run on my arm, they have been unable to find anything wrong. He suggested going back to my primary care doctor, which I refuse to do because her bed side manner stinks, or to go to a nuero doctor or a different hand doctor. After reading a rather defeated post of mine on bookface regarding the situation, a friend contacted me with a possible culprit and new specialist to try.

I'm fortunate my insurance doesn't require referrals and seeing someone on the campus I work at helps me not miss full days of work and people in my office highly recommend them. Not only because they refer to us, but because my coworkers have personally been patients of them. My dear Doll was kind enough to talk me off the ledge, and point me in the deriction of a neurologist who is wonderful.

I met with Dr. Lazar yesterday. after explaining the pain and other symptoms, he gave me 2 possible answers. There is either a pinched nerve in my neck or it's Thoracic Outlet Syndrome (TOS). He recommended an MRI to see if it is the pinched nerve and assured me that if it is, he can fix it. If the test comes back negative, then there is a high probability that it's TOS and he would refere me to another doctor that specializes in fixing it. TOS would require surgery and the pinched nerve might depending on how bad. He kept assuring me that it wasn't an end all diagnosis and I told him at this point, I've been in pain for almost 10 years and that it might actually be something and not just in my head.

I'm scheduled next Tuesday for the MRI and then a follow up with Dr. Lazar on Friday the same week. The thought that there might actually be a solution close has helped me a lot. After the last specialist, no matter how cute he was, pretty much threw his hands in the air, I was beyond crushed. Last weekend I cut a 9" x 12" piece of fabric and was in pain. Today I hauled luggage and groceries and am in pain. I've done my best to keep the smile and hide the pain, but there are days it's just to bad that I can't do anything.

The Doll has been wonderful about giving me tips for helping alleviate it. I've been very thankful to have such wonderful friends. They given me help and support when I'd pretty much given up on myself. If it wasn't for them, I don't think I'd finally broken down and gone to see someone. So I'm hoping I can get back to painting and drawing again. I miss my pencils. Heck! I'd settle for being able to use chop sticks through a dinner with my Shadow right now!

I will try and do better about keeping people posted. :)